Okay, everyone, thanks for
coming to this mandatory HR
meeting.
Let's make some noise!
[ Laughter ]
Okay.
Let's start with workplace
relationships.
Generally, we discourage it.
But of course, it happens.
So we have a few rules.
You can ask a co-worker out
once, but if they say no, you
cannot ask them again.
So wait, question.
I can ask anyone out one time?
I guess technically, yes.
Sweet.
Laurel, will you go out with me?
No.
So that's it, then?
Like, that door is closed until
it resets at the end of the
year?
[ Laughter ]
No.
It doesn't reset.
Okay.
I think I understand.
I can't ask Laurel out again,
which means I have to move on to
my second choice, Carley.
Will you go out with me?
Don't love that you called me
your second choice, but sure.
See, this is interesting.
Because I don't want to go out
with Carley.
So can I take that yes, bank it,
and use it on Laurel?
[ Laughter ]
There's no banking it.
It's not a game show.
Excuse me.
I have a query.
Okay, Eric, what is it?
Are we allowed to ask women
if they are ticklish?
[ Laughter ]
No.
Oh, so you said I can just go
ahead and try?
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!
Eric, cut your nails.
No!
[ Laughter ]
Another question.
So we all know Clark is gay,
right?
No, only told you.
Now that we all know Clark is
gay --
[ Laughter ]
which I'm personally fine with.
But since Clark is never going
to ask a woman out due to his
condition --
[ Laughter ]
does that mean I can buy Clark's
asks?
Sure, 20 bucks a pop.
Great.
Here's -- it's like $1,500.
Why do you have so much cash
on you?
I go to the strip club at
lunch.
[ Laughter ]
That's where I know you from.
[ Laughter ]
You guys work together.
Laurel, I love you, I think
you're smoking hot, would you go
out with me?
Still, no.
Back to Silver.
Carley.
I can't believe I'm saying
this, but yes.
See, that's what I don't like
about you.
You want it too much.
[ Laughter ]
Okay.
I'm just going to bank Carley's
yes, is that cool with
everybody?
Yeah.
Works for me.
No.
No banking yeses.
We have a query.
Why are you all using the
word "query"?
[ Laughter ]
Me and Robert have been
secretly hooking up for five
months.
Is it bad that I'm his direct
superior?
Yes, that's obviously bad.
[ Laughter ]
Uh-huh, does it help that I'm
just doing it to get a raise?
[ Laughter ]
That does not help, no.
Okay, we're just going to go
ahead and wrap this up.
Wait.
Can I say something?
I learned something important
today.
An office is a sacred place.
And office relationships are
tough.
But you can only ask someone out
once.
If they say no, that's it.
That's literally the only
thing we've covered today.
[ Laughter ]
Here's something you didn't
cover.
You can bank yeses, and they
roll over every year.
[ Laughter ]
And over time, they accrue
interest.
And you can trade in your
Christmas bonus for 20 new asks.
And booty khakis are okay.
[ Laughter and cheers ]
No, they are not.
That was never okay.
Never.
[ Cheers and applause ]