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Okay, everyone, thanks for

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coming to this mandatory HR

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meeting.

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Let's make some noise!

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[ Laughter ]

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Okay.

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Let's start with workplace

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relationships.

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Generally, we discourage it.

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But of course, it happens.

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So we have a few rules.

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You can ask a co-worker out

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once, but if they say no, you

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cannot ask them again.

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So wait, question.

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I can ask anyone out one time?

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I guess technically, yes.

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Sweet.

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Laurel, will you go out with me?

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No.

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So that's it, then?

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Like, that door is closed until

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it resets at the end of the

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year?

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[ Laughter ]

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No.

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It doesn't reset.

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Okay.

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I think I understand.

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I can't ask Laurel out again,

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which means I have to move on to

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my second choice, Carley.

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Will you go out with me?

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Don't love that you called me

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your second choice, but sure.

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See, this is interesting.

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Because I don't want to go out

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with Carley.

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So can I take that yes, bank it,

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and use it on Laurel?

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[ Laughter ]

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There's no banking it.

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It's not a game show.

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Excuse me.

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I have a query.

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Okay, Eric, what is it?

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Are we allowed to ask women

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if they are ticklish?

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[ Laughter ]

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No.

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Oh, so you said I can just go

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ahead and try?

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Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!

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Eric, cut your nails.

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No!

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[ Laughter ]

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Another question.

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So we all know Clark is gay,

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right?

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No, only told you.

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Now that we all know Clark is

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gay --

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[ Laughter ]

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which I'm personally fine with.

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But since Clark is never going

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to ask a woman out due to his

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condition --

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[ Laughter ]

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does that mean I can buy Clark's

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asks?

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Sure, 20 bucks a pop.

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Great.

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Here's -- it's like $1,500.

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Why do you have so much cash

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on you?

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I go to the strip club at

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lunch.

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[ Laughter ]

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That's where I know you from.

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[ Laughter ]

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You guys work together.

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Laurel, I love you, I think

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you're smoking hot, would you go

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out with me?

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Still, no.

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Back to Silver.

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Carley.

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I can't believe I'm saying

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this, but yes.

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See, that's what I don't like

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about you.

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You want it too much.

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[ Laughter ]

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Okay.

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I'm just going to bank Carley's

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yes, is that cool with

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everybody?

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Yeah.

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Works for me.

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No.

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No banking yeses.

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We have a query.

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Why are you all using the

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word "query"?

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[ Laughter ]

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Me and Robert have been

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secretly hooking up for five

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months.

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Is it bad that I'm his direct

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superior?

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Yes, that's obviously bad.

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[ Laughter ]

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Uh-huh, does it help that I'm

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just doing it to get a raise?

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[ Laughter ]

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That does not help, no.

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Okay, we're just going to go

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ahead and wrap this up.

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Wait.

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Can I say something?

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I learned something important

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today.

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An office is a sacred place.

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And office relationships are

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tough.

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But you can only ask someone out

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once.

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If they say no, that's it.

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That's literally the only

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thing we've covered today.

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[ Laughter ]

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Here's something you didn't

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cover.

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You can bank yeses, and they

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roll over every year.

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[ Laughter ]

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And over time, they accrue

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interest.

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And you can trade in your

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Christmas bonus for 20 new asks.

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And booty khakis are okay.

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[ Laughter and cheers ]

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No, they are not.

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That was never okay.

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Never.

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[ Cheers and applause ]