Office dating rules and asking coworkers out once

00:02 Okay, everyone, thanks for

00:04 coming to this mandatory HR

00:05 meeting.

00:06 Let's make some noise!

00:07 [ Laughter ]

00:11 Okay.

00:12 Let's start with workplace

00:14 relationships.

00:15 Generally, we discourage it.

00:16 But of course, it happens.

00:17 So we have a few rules.

00:19 You can ask a co-worker out

00:21 once, but if they say no, you

00:23 cannot ask them again.

00:24 So wait, question.

00:26 I can ask anyone out one time?

00:29 I guess technically, yes.

00:30 Sweet.

00:31 Laurel, will you go out with me?

00:34 No.

00:35 So that's it, then?

00:38 Like, that door is closed until

00:39 it resets at the end of the

00:40 year?

00:40 [ Laughter ]

00:41 No.

00:42 It doesn't reset.

00:44 Okay.

00:44 I think I understand.

00:46 I can't ask Laurel out again,

00:48 which means I have to move on to

00:49 my second choice, Carley.

00:52 Will you go out with me?

00:54 Don't love that you called me

00:56 your second choice, but sure.

00:57 See, this is interesting.

00:59 Because I don't want to go out

01:01 with Carley.

01:03 So can I take that yes, bank it,

01:04 and use it on Laurel?

01:06 [ Laughter ]

01:07 There's no banking it.

01:08 It's not a game show.

01:09 Excuse me.

01:11 I have a query.

01:13 Okay, Eric, what is it?

01:15 Are we allowed to ask women

01:18 if they are ticklish?

01:19 [ Laughter ]

01:20 No.

01:21 Oh, so you said I can just go

01:21 ahead and try?

01:22 Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!

01:24 Eric, cut your nails.

01:25 No!

01:27 [ Laughter ]

01:27 Another question.

01:29 So we all know Clark is gay,

01:30 right?

01:32 No, only told you.

01:37 Now that we all know Clark is

01:39 gay --

01:40 [ Laughter ]

01:40 which I'm personally fine with.

01:42 But since Clark is never going

01:43 to ask a woman out due to his

01:45 condition --

01:46 [ Laughter ]

01:46 does that mean I can buy Clark's

01:47 asks?

01:48 Sure, 20 bucks a pop.

01:49 Great.

01:53 Here's -- it's like $1,500.

01:54 Why do you have so much cash

01:55 on you?

01:56 I go to the strip club at

01:57 lunch.

01:58 [ Laughter ]

01:59 That's where I know you from.

02:01 [ Laughter ]

02:02 You guys work together.

02:06 Laurel, I love you, I think

02:08 you're smoking hot, would you go

02:10 out with me?

02:11 Still, no.

02:13 Back to Silver.

02:15 Carley.

02:17 I can't believe I'm saying

02:18 this, but yes.

02:20 See, that's what I don't like

02:22 about you.

02:23 You want it too much.

02:24 [ Laughter ]

02:25 Okay.

02:26 I'm just going to bank Carley's

02:29 yes, is that cool with

02:31 everybody?

02:31 Yeah.

02:32 Works for me.

02:32 No.

02:34 No banking yeses.

02:36 We have a query.

02:36 Why are you all using the

02:37 word "query"?

02:40 [ Laughter ]

02:42 Me and Robert have been

02:44 secretly hooking up for five

02:44 months.

02:46 Is it bad that I'm his direct

02:46 superior?

02:48 Yes, that's obviously bad.

02:51 [ Laughter ]

02:52 Uh-huh, does it help that I'm

02:52 just doing it to get a raise?

02:54 [ Laughter ]

02:55 That does not help, no.

02:59 Okay, we're just going to go

03:00 ahead and wrap this up.

03:01 Wait.

03:01 Can I say something?

03:04 I learned something important

03:04 today.

03:06 An office is a sacred place.

03:08 And office relationships are

03:08 tough.

03:10 But you can only ask someone out

03:11 once.

03:12 If they say no, that's it.

03:15 That's literally the only

03:17 thing we've covered today.

03:18 [ Laughter ]

03:21 Here's something you didn't

03:22 cover.

03:24 You can bank yeses, and they

03:26 roll over every year.

03:27 [ Laughter ]

03:28 And over time, they accrue

03:28 interest.

03:31 And you can trade in your

03:32 Christmas bonus for 20 new asks.

03:36 And booty khakis are okay.

03:41 [ Laughter and cheers ]

03:42 No, they are not.

03:42 That was never okay.

03:44 Never.

03:45 [ Cheers and applause ]